Effects of Divorce on Children

EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN

Introduction

When children see the parents whom they have been relying upon for a while part ways; they are often affected both emotionally and psychologically. While divorce in itself does not affect the children negatively; its effects are the ones which brew a lot of uncertainty in the minds of these young people (Weiss, 1976). The children at this point are often more worried about the nature of the conflict between their parents and when in the end the parenting of the party with their custody changes; they start reminiscing the good times when their parents were in terms. This paper provides a theoretical framework of psychological effects of divorce on children; while discussing the methods of investigation; negative and positive implications of the debate as well as the controversies related to this topic.

How divorce affects Children

The first reaction that comes within a child’s mind having been informed of their parents’ impending divorce is denial. They often fantasize about a good union and this could have further emotional drawbacks if the parents do not reunite. Also, within this period and immediately after the divorce, children are often worried about being abandoned by either parent. This situation could be further aggravated if one parent whom the children are close to keeps vilifying the other parent in front of the minors. This instills fear of real abandonment in the children and also creates resentment towards the other parent. Still within this duration, a child develops a higher affinity for information. They often want to know the real facts of the situation they are in. they would also want another version of the story they know; something that would give them encouragement that their parents love them and all will be well (Warner & Seccombe, 2003).

When the reality of divorce finally dawns on them, many children develop problems with controlling their anger. This translates into hostility towards peers, teachers, siblings, and the parent whom they perceive to be at fault. With these negative emotions at play, the school performances of these children are likely to be poor. In addition to this, because the burden seems too heavy at this point, the children are often depressed and show signs of lethargy, eating disorders, sleeping problems and social withdrawal. Also, with a protracted marital conflict, children after divorce may feel that they are to blame for that eventuality. There is a voice of self-guilt that tells them that they are the cause of those family problems. Therefore, they end up even hating themselves. The final effect of divorce on children is that it might lead to either immaturity or hypermaturity. There could be a regression to an early developmental stage when they think that they are assured of their parents’ care and support to an extent of even acting very childish. On the other hand, a child could assume parental responsibility at home because of the feeling that at least someone must take charge when the parents have failed (Weiss, 1976). The Attachment Theory

The psychological effects of divorce can be best explained by the attachment theory. This theory states that attachment is an important aspect when determining the personality and behavior of a person throughout their lifetime. In this theory, attachment is defined to mean the strong bond that is built first between parent and child, and can later be replicated in peer relationships and romantic relationships (Bowlby, 1969). There have been numerous conflicting results depicted by recent research on divorce and separation with respect to attachment. The most predominant inference from these studies indicates that children whose parents have undergone a divorce have great difficulties in adapting to various stages of life because they often remember their previous experiences with broken attachment bonds. In this case, these children do not have any successful prototype of a relationship which has been successful; therefore they have nothing to refer to and draw from to replicate in their lives. Other research boasted results that children of divorce adapt to life's situations and relationships unlike their peers (Berman, 1988). It is important to analyze all facets of divorce and attachment in order to enable teachers, parents and psychologists to help children who are affected by this social challenge.

Research Methods

In order to come up with helpful information on this method, I used the qualitative research method. In this case, a library research was conducted where the main arguments of scholars were closely examined to determine their validity in the present world and whether they stand the criticism from other scholarly works.

Positive and Negative components

There is one major positive that makes the findings of this paper more credible. The fact that many scholarly writings on this topic concur across the board is a good thing because it only reaffirms that the arguments are indeed plausible. On the other hand, one negative aspect of these findings is that they may not stand the challenge of time because the current social life is extremely dynamic and such trends in behavior of children may equally change within a short period of time.

Controversies related to the topic

There are also a few points of divergence from the perspectives of many experts and scholars in this field. To start with, it is uncertain how exactly the effects of divorce vary with respect to different age groups of children. Research on this particular case often produces diverse findings that may not be able to be fully harmonized. Also, it is also uncertain whether regular intervention of parents guarantees that challenges their children face will be reduced. Scholars have very diametrically opposed views in this respect (Ainsworth, 1969).

References

Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1969). Object relations, attachment and dependency. Child Development,    40, 969-1025.

Berman, W. H. (1988). The role of attachment in the post-divorce experience. Journal of   Personality and Social Psychology, 54, 496-503.

Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss: Attachment (Vol. 1). New York: Basic.

Warner, R. L., & Seccombe, K. (2003). Marriage and families: Relationships in social context.      Toronto, Canada: Wadsworth.

Weiss, R. S. (1976). The emotional impact of marital separation. Journal of Social Issues, 32,        135-145.